I woke up everyday to the same routine. sometimes i got sick of it and it feels like i can no longer continue but i knew for every right reason i have to keep moving forward. it is now less than 5 months to achieve freedom. sometimes the grey skies seems to know my feelings and the pouring rain tells it all. i have no reason to give up. this is the last year of me being a sch student so by hook or by crook i have to keep going, for the sake of umie and ayah.

it's been hard. for the hopes on my shoulders, it is hard. i know i can do it because at the thought of them remind me that they have worked extra hard for us, their children. no words can describe how deeply dearly my love is for them. so i gotta work hard to repay the sacrifices, the tears, the money and everything they have done. but you know, i do not know where to start. i mean i have started but i dont know if its enough. guide me through ya Allah. for you are the Greatest and the Almighty.

love, laila

I've been good

Bismillahirrahmanirahim. 

First and foremost, i would like to apologize to my Wajdi hahahaha bcs he says he often opens my blog but reads the same post all over again. I pity him thats why i post this enrty. 

So to conclude everything in this post regarding my stories for the last few months then i dont think i cant bcs it is not short. As a candidates of Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia, my ordinary life really changed 360 degrees. It is hectic with 3 hours of netball training which is my daily routine, studies and homeworks and all kind of stuff related to a hostel student. Speaking of netball, ye saya main netball walaupun tak terror mcm star tapi menyumbang lah juga hahaha. To sum up everything, i also stay up until 1 plus and wake up at 5 due to finishing mountains of hwks and the thought of ohh i didnt study anything yet today cs i slept in prep. Crazy life.

Well i think that is pretty much my story lah kan hahaha acah acah panjang je kan. Practically my world now revolves around school and studies. I seldom get to balik kampung bcs i am to busy living my life at school. The girls as well are busy with their studies so we rarely see each other. I seriously cannot wait till SPM ends bcs by tht time i can do wtv i want hoho freedom is mine ( lambat lagi padahal )

I should stop typing and kejut my beloved wajdi now bcs he is that mengada. Yes wajdi is bestfriend, boyfriend, cry shoulder and everything. He is one of the person i look for when i am happy or sad or in trouble or moody. Basically he is everything to me and i am proud to say we managed to go through the ups and downs for over a year now. yeay clap clap wajdi! 

See you guys soon in my next entry which i dont know when will i have the heart to post hehehe takecare everybody. Kindly pray for my success in SPM dear everybody.

laila xoxo

i'm inlove with you

(before i start i would like to warn you, im writing about my kesayangan so yea) 

Mornight people :) it's currently 3 in the morning. just hung up the phone. talked to boyfriend and forced him to stay awake by keep talking haha bad girlfriend i am. forced him to sing little things for me   but he refused so i youtube it and sang it with him hehehe.

it's like what 5 months being 'friend' with him. i'm happy than you can tell. he's like the kind-est (even i know this word doesnt exist but still using it anyway) and a sweetheart to me. very manja and menggedik. he acts differently when i'm around. he turns into being a very quiet and shy person. everybody realises it but that what makes him different. 

i hope we can continue this and still get the sparks out of this.i hope we can get through the thick and thin together. i hope we can do everything together. i pray you have all the strength  in the world to always be with you so that you wont be broken-hearted if i ever leave. i pray you get all the happiness with you every single day so that i can always see and be happy by looking at your smile. 

thanks for the amazing 5 months, love. time spent with you is never a waste. thanks you for every kind thing you did just to make me happy. i could not ask for more. i thank you for everything and i wish you every happiness in the world. ( hopefully i am one of it)

love, laila.

zero

Hi daisies. Sorry for being away for so long. I've been lazy. I apologise from the bottom of my heart. Truly sorry. Let's just pretend that they are few people that read this blog of mine , shall we? haha okay.

I am okay. I am feeling good about myself after everything umie said in our convo yesterday morning.  People are jealous that is why they do the talking. School has been hectic. With the so called-problems with girlfriends there, with studies and everything. But Alhamdulillah everything is under control. I do not want to talk about the girlfriends bcs i dont think its worth talking about. If they really are my friends, they would have tegur my wrong-doing instead of spreading my bad attitude to others. That is just unacceptable. So yeah, jealousy people.

Speaking of jealousy, there is this one guy that gets jealous everytime guys talk to me or smile at me or even just give me a glanced.He gets jealous easily bcs he told me that he's afraid i might fall for another guy rather than staying with him forever. He is my schoolmate. I mean more than a schoolmate. My bestfriend. My boyfriend. The replacement of Ajim he is. I still can hear people buzzing around about me and him but idc cs honestly i have never disturbed their life. I am living my life but ofcourse i do know the limits.

Yes true, i was never interested of knowing him in the first place. In my mind, he was just another guy that flirts around with girls. I never knew he was this serious about knowing me. He is in my batch. Junior as well as i am myself. So yea no one cares since i'm dating a junior. hehehe. He is a friend to my girlfriends.

So here i am telling everyone that i want him in the future. Its okay if he isnt mine now but i want him in the future. I just love the feeling of being wanted by him. I just love that he treats me gently. I just love that i can talk to him like a bestfriend. I love the feeling of being with him now. Not as a girlfriend-boyfriend feeling. It is more to i-can-tell-you-everything-even-my-deepest-secret-bcs-i-can-trust-you feelings.

Oh and we are not promising each other anything or is it just me ? I am just going to enjoy the present.   It is fine if we don't talk anymore after this but atleast i got the chance to know him once. So.... I now shall pen down and start packing since im leaving to hostel at 4 pm. Takecare everyone and selamat berpuasa xx

love, Laila.

Serendipity

Isnt it ironic that people could hurt you way before you know them well ? it's fuqin hurt. i like someone but i don't want to get into relationship. So i guess i will have to bear with the pain seeing him talking to girls, laughing and every other thing. No, imma stick with my thought. Boyfriend is a trouble for me. He should know that i like him. He is fuqin special to me. He is my special friend. A friend. yes, he is. Because you know what, friendship last longer than relationship. No, i mean friendship never ends. I really want that never-ends-thing.

p/s : you are special, please know. Not as a boyfriend but special as in i can tell you my deepest secret. That is what special means to me. Serendipity, period.

love, Laila.

Now, everything is good

it is Monday and i am home. It is the semester break, i know i am excited more than you can tell. First, i want to apologise for not updating this blog of mine. It was like what 4 months ago i last updated right ? Sorry, i was busy enjoying every secs of my life that i forgot i still have a blog to share, to write and to express.

You know what ? i now don't really need to express everything in here. I have bunch of caring and loving people around me. They are willing to lend their ears for me so this i will consider as my sec option to express anything from now on. It is good tho that i dont really depend on something that can't talk instead i look for people who i can count on to get advices. Yes, it is a good thing after all.

Second, life has been treating me really well. I am happy with changes cs i love new things. It gives me new experience. Well, it's true sometimes life is hard but you just have to live it cs gal nothing will get in our way if you have supports. I do have supports. From everyone. I feel really good about myself now than ever.

Third, now i am free to flirt around cs no one gonna yell or stop me from doing that. I tell you its good to just live the way you want and not to be controlled by someone who isnt your husband. fuqit who do you think you are ? i asked for it and he thought that i want a break up bcs i wanted to go to that someone who likes me. oh stop it. 

Next is i am now can proudly say that i'm starting to love the sch. Technical institute of Kuala Lumpur i would say.Its getting fun there each day. The classmates are superly nice and really i couldnt ask for more. Also i have my baby Ikha with me which is good to have someone you can share everything with. Harith, who has been a very good friend there and an entertainer to us ( ikha and me ofcourse) He reminds me to Ajim so much. The character which i could say iz very the same.

Thus, i guess that is just it. Till we meet again dear everyone who read this. I say this as if it sounds like they are people who read this. ah i dont care. Please takecare and enjoy your holiday. Do not forget to do your homework students! salam xx

love, laila.